Borderline personality disorder
The hospital psychiatrist has me go through the list of what I’ve been diagnosed with. “What do you think you have?” He asks. “I don’t think I have anything,” I say. “I think things have happened and I’m sad.” His eyes and voice are soft and he wears expensive clothes. I wait for the click of his dress shoes in the hall to get me, watch the shining silver buckles as we walk. I wish for him to be able to do something. When I cry there are no tissues. He offers to get me napkins from the kitchen across the hall and I’m about to tell him it’s ok, I’ll just use my sleeves. But I need something from him, so I let him place paper napkins in my hands and pretend that will be enough.
TV IS BORING
Dazed & Confused 1994
Stylist: Katie Grand
We are more than the worst thing that’s ever
happened to us. All of us need to stop apologizing
for having been to hell and come back breathing.
Your bad dreams are battle scars.
What doesn’t kill you cuts fucking deep
but scars are just skin growing back
thicker when it heals.